Lost

I feel so lost right now. I am days away from checking my oldest into a mental health residential program. I don't know how we got here. I don't know why my kids can't seem to function normally. Neither seem able to overcome any sort of adversity. I have tried so hard to teach them both a love of learning and to foster independence. Yet both my older ones are floundering. I want to figure out what went wrong so I don't make the same mistake with my youngest. Although I wonder if there is a genetic factor for them as well. 

I am waiting on insurance approval. She has packed a suitcase. I have the notarized form giving this facility guardianship while she is there. This is scary for me, she is acting like she's about to go in vacation. But the lying and the sneaking around continues. And if she can't admit her mistakes, I don't know how I allow her back here. At times I feel like I failed as a mother. But I also recognize that I was never meant to be both parents. Although that doesn't make me feel any better about my youngest. 

God, You are in control. Once again, I don't understand any of this. But I need You close right now. Show me the way forward for each of my children. I need You to show me the best way to love them and what they need to truly flourish.