Need a Change

Hitting the wall lately. Work is going fine, finishing by lunch most days. I'm 60% of the way done with my classes for certification. I need to find time to go get fingerprinted again. I will be taking a day off every pay cycle until I'm ready for a longer vacation. So nothing much to complain about. 

My ex is still causing issues. He's trying to convince the kids to get the covid shot by instilling fear in them. He's lying and doing whatever he wants, whenever. I am waiting to hear about spring break as well as how track season is supposed to work. I should get the petition regarding moving soon. I'm praying that once he sees I'm not backing down he'll let me go. 

I need a break. I want to work out. I want to get the basement cleaned out. I need to get rid of the clothes the baby just outgrew. But I don't know what to do with her while I get work done around the house. Not to mention the need for repairs. I need to fix the drywall in the bathroom. I need to paint in there as well. I need to paint near the fireplace. I need to get the carpet replaced in all the bedrooms. I need to get the mice taken care of. But I don't know where to start or how to find time for any of this. Where does one turn when you never get a break?

The baby will be 1 in about 3 weeks. I haven't been away from her more than a church service. And I feel like I'm drowning. Covid makes it worse because I don't want to take her anywhere because I don't want to normalize masks. We both need the socialization but it doesn't exist as we need it. Hopefully once this covid wave recedes we can get back to a maskless existence. 

Tomorrow I have the day off work. I hope to take time to get something done. We will see how much the little one cooperates. I feel overwhelmed with what needs to be done and when that happens I can end up paralyzed and do nothing. At least the house is clean upstairs. Now to declutter the 4th bedroom, basement and garage. Hopefully I can give some stuff away. 

2022

Welcome to 2022. I survived another year and we all became better people. At least, I like to think so. With a new year beginning, I have a lot of goals/pland swirling in my head. This will be my last year of my 30s and soon my baby will turn 1.

Let's start with the easy to write goals.

1. Get off the screens. Everyone in my family, except L because she doesn't use anything yet. I want to be more intentional about getting off social media. I will use my computer for work and then put it away. I will use my phone to read my Bible when I can't get out of bed. Instead of mindless scrolling, I will read more books. As L is able to sleep alone, I can start a morning devotional time. Even if it means cracking open the window shade and reading while she sleeps in the bed.

2. I will spend more time intentionally with each child. L is the easiest. I will make time each day to read to her, sing songs with her, and help her to explore her world. As the weather allows, I will get her outside to explore, go for walks in the stroller or with her walking. And as the year progresses, she might be able to help in the kitchen a little. I will ask the older ones to choose something to do with me at least once a week. Go for a walk, bake something together, whatever they want. I want to intentionally connect with them individually. 

3. I will restart exercising. I feel so much better when I move regularly. Since it's winter, that a little more difficult. But I will start with a goal of 30 minutes, 3 times a week. This could be a walk, hopping on the rowing machine, or doing some strength training. But I need to make this a priority for myself and my kids. What a good example to set for them of making health a priority.

And I will start with these goals for January. I will reevaluate in February if I am ready to add more goals. There are other things I'd like to consider, but I want to set myself up for success. Hopefully by prioritizing focusing on God, making more intentional connections with my kids, and improving my health, I will make some positive strides this year. God blessed my family abundantly last year and I'm looking forward to what He does this year when I am even more intentional about spending time learning about Him.