My 13yo has been spending tons of time with his small group leader from church. He seems to be struggling with a few things right now and I'm hoping that this relationship will provide him with a positive male role model and someone he can talk to and ask questions he thinks I can't answer.
My 15yo is still struggling. She generally doesn't want to be around the family. She is trying to develop an identity that goes against our faith, but won't admit that it does. When I ask clarifying questions, because I truly don't understand, she gets offended because she can't answer them. I think she's told so many lies over the years that she has lost sight of the truth and I have no idea how to help her back to reality.
How do you deal with a compulsive liar? Because both kids seem to have developed this trait from their father and it's baffling to me. I don't understand how a person can see reality and then just make up something else that happened. I don't understand how a person can be okay with constantly lying. Sometimes it's about little things - I didn't eat that, or that's not mine. But then there are bigger things, like accusing other people of harming someone. Maybe they are just exaggerations and as kids they don't fully consider the ramifications of their accusations. But they also watched their father do it repeatedly with no consequences.
And so I hope this silence remains. I hope it's the beginning of a chance for me to reprogram the kids to a more healthy way of life. The stress level here has certainly decreased, as we're not planning around someone else's random schedule. It's certainly more expensive, but as always, God is providing. I should get the child support modification result soon. I trust that God has his hand in being sure that we will have what we need. We are all feeling a little more stable these days and it is nice. I don't know what the future holds, but I pray daily for healing of our hearts and protection for my youngest as she grows without a father at all. I still don't know how I will respond when she asks where her father is. God will provide though, I'm interested to see His solution.
