How does one accuse their own son of such things? I can't even bring myself to write what they were. But on Easter Sunday, as he walked up to my house, he sent an email with a list of allegations. Except, even the timing of sending that email doesn't make sense. The accusations were regarding the day before, and the alleged behavior was egregious. Yet, he dropped our son off at 6pm Saturday and didn't bother to say anything until 2:48pm Sunday. Not to mention, I didn't read the email until around 6pm Sunday. This is despite sending text messages when he got a flat tire Saturday. But despite what the email alleged, the visit wasn't cut short either. In fact, it was longer than expected, even though he could have brought him home instead of keeping our son until the tow truck arrived.
The real storm was yet to come after that email. The email ended with a demand for my response, via email. Since the beginning of February, except for the emergency texts about the flat tire, I have directed my ex to return to the court ordered app for communication. So this was an attempt at stepping over this boundary again. As usual, I screenshot the email and responded within the app. This apparently didn't make him happy, so he or his wife called dcfs. And that has backfired on him.
When dcfs showed up and I came home to talk to them, I was boldly honest. I shared the email. I also shared the refusal to follow the court order for communication and for parenting time. They took it all in, while telling me that I needed to keep my son separated from my girls. Because as a single mom, that's easy. They actually sympathized a little and said we could get the process going quickly. I expressed my frustration over their non-appearance when our daughter made allegations against her father last fall. And the response was that this is her opportunity to speak.
So on Tuesday I was informed that my 2yo would be left alone. How do you interview a mostly nonverbal, very shy with strangers child? I was getting ready to object and ask they speak with the various adults in her life, most of whom are mandated reporters. They would all say they have seen no changes in behavior, that she loves her brother and exhibits no fear of him. Despite her speech delay, which seems partly physical, she is an amazingly confident, happy toddler. So I was glad to hear they would leave her alone. And we set up the interview for my oldest. The fear remained as I was told that the issue with my son was given to another town and how to proceed was their choice.
In the mean time, I reached out to some adults in my son's life. I wanted to be sure that I wasn't missing something as mom. But the small group leader was shocked and said he hadn't seen anything remotely close. And they just went through a series on sexual design from God. And the dean at the school was shocked and shared she has never been uncomfortable with him and found the situation unbelievable as a relayed the accusations. Finally I spoke with my son's therapist. He never even got around to addressing my son in particular, focusing on the inconsistencies in the email and how what was written made no sense given the human condition. He agreed to see him next week just to check in. I felt better after these conversations, knowing my mother instincts are fully intact.
So Wednesday I took my oldest in for her interview. She had told me that she would share her memory that was unearthed last fall if asked a general question about inappropriate touch. And so, she did share when asked. She also convinced the officer that she is a responsible, smart girl that is wise beyond her years. And so, her memory is being passed on to the town we lived in when she was 5 or 6. I was also informed that nothing is being pursued with my son. They want to check in with him to see if he's experienced anything similar to my daughter. But he is no longer at risk for being in trouble. Makes a mother's heart relax a bit.
I don't really know what happens next. There are so many unknowns it's hard to lost them all. But we are in God's hands. He is controlling all of this and will provide as He always has. I trust in Him. At the moment, I am waiting on the paperwork from the seargent and to find out if a restraining order needs to be pursued. That depends on whether my exhusband will comply with staying away during the investigation. As I never imagined he would accuse our son as he has, I truly don't know how he will respond. So we wait and just try to rest in knowing that we are in the hands of a loving, protective God.
