Monday, August 10, 2020

High School Pressure

 We all face various types of pressure in high school.  Usually it centers around smoking, drinking, and sex.  Friends may try to convince that you should give something a try.  But if you consistently say no, they typically relent and life goes on.  That's if they are truly your friends.

As a 13 year old freshman, I was not completely ready for some of the pressures I would face.  Getting involved with others that were juniors and seniors was not the best group.  But somehow, I was drawn to the older crowd within band when I started band camp.  I ended up dating some juniors and seniors.

The first guy I dated was a junior, but had been held back so was 17.  A 4 year difference in high school is huge.  He had way more experience with everything.  And being a somewhat small girl, he definitely had a significant amount of strength on me.  It started with coercing me into sexual activity.  Never quite pushed to the point of sex.  But there was physical force.  I didn't realize how terrible it was at the time.  You know, a 13yo girl excited to be dating a 17yo boy.  I was wanted by him.  But it left so many scars on my heart that took so long to heal.  I still have issues with some aspects of intimacy because it triggers something within me.  Some day I might find someone that accepts this part of me.

I'm now the mother of a 12yo girl.  And I strive to protect both her innocence and her heart.  I know that before she enters high school, I will have to have a heart to heart conversation so she understands the dangers of being alone with boys.  No one ever thinks it will happen to them.  It wasn't a stranger, it was someone I saw every day at school.  It started innocently and turned evil very quickly.  I still don't understand the purpose of this experience from God's perspective.  I'm not sure that I ever will, except that maybe going through this pain will save my daughter from a similar experience.

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