I have a 15yo that I don't know what to do with. Although I feel there's a glimmer of hope this past week. We seem to have narrowly missed sending her to an inpatient treatment program to deal with her mental health. Now we are pursuing counseling twice a week. I have no idea if it's helping. She is still lying and sneaking around, pushing back on expectations. But it seems to be at a more typical teenager level for now. I am hoping that this sticks and she is willing to put in the work to get to a more normal life.
Still basically silence from the kids' father. Although no child support for 3 payment cycles. He has promised it's coming early next week. The state has no idea. And the modification department seems to be just utterly confused.
My 13yo son seems to generally be doing okay. Except he appears to hate school to a level I never imagined. The other day we were talking with others about start and end times and wandered around to how my youngest won't ever have to get up for school. I joked that he was jealous of that. His response was that it had nothing to do with time, but that he is glad she will never have to experience because "it is hell." I was caught off guard by that, because he has had a much better attitude since we moved. It seems the social issues are better, but he hates the academics. He would benefit so much from moving at his own pace!
My youngest will be 2.5 tomorrow. She's laying next to me now, resting after a busy and active day for her. Her sleep has been so much better the last month, even with our vacation. I think we are both feeling more rested as she is no longer up multiple times a night. Her speech is improving, she has physically grown a ton, and I just did the 30m screening and she passed everything with flying colors. I keep debating whether I should be trying to do a preschool program with her this year or not. I honestly can't remember when I started with the other 2, but I'm thinking they were 3. So maybe just another year of tons of books. I should probably do more art with her. Definitely something to keep in mind this winter if we get stuck inside, or rainy days. I need to not get stuck in a run and try to keep exposing her to new things.
We went on an amazing vacation. I seriously didn't want to come home. My dream for traveling in a camper is even more pronounced. There is so much of this country I've never seen. And there is so much to learn by visiting places with rich history. The traveling becomes more affordable if you don't have to pay for hotels constantly. And it seems there may even be some places where you could park for a night or 2 free before moving on. Definitely have things I will be researching in 3 years when my middle son is getting closer to graduating high school. I think we could have an amazing time and my youngest would learn so much.
I will be starting a mom's group and likely a Bible study this fall. I am looking forward to the time with other moms and am hopeful of making friends for my youngest. Nothing else seems to have worked so far. I think it starts in a month, so looking forward to that journey.
I feel jumbled lately. I started work on repairing the exercise room. I believe it will only require a maximum of 4 cuts to put the wall back up. So if I do 1 week, I will have the room ready enough to return to exercising by September. Maybe I will be able to work quicker if everything aligns well. Once this room is done, I will be putting exercise as a priority before other household projects. Although I am thinking that without tutoring this year, I can take a couple hours each weekend to tackle something around the house and still have 1 day to relax and focus on the family. I am settling into a more relaxed lifestyle and I am looking forward to it. Hopefully it will result in some weight loss as I work on moving more, strength training, and eventually returning to my fasting. My youngest needs to decide she no longer wants to nurse first though. She will be my longest for that.
It's nice to feel more grounded. And I'm pretty sure that focusing on reading the Bible 2x/day fairly consistently has helped with that. God is truly in control and I look forward to what He has planned for tomorrow. Because I have learned to roll with the punches a bit more and am trying to just wait for what is coming. In the meantime, I am certainly enjoying this little one.
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